FAR BE IT from me to disagree with the U.S. attorney general. But Eric Holder was wrong last week when he told a group of Floridians that in the interest of national security, Americans would adapt nicely to full-body scan machines in airports. Just as they have to removing their shoes.
Full-body scans are those peeping-Tom machines that peel away your clothes, reveal your flesh and essentially turn TSA agents into voyeurs.
Sorry, Mr. Holder. Kicking off your loafers is one thing. Letting security guards have a gander at your private parts is quite another.
The attorney general is right about one thing, though. These machines are coming, thanks to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Christmas Day underwear bomber. A full-body scan would have spotted the explosives he'd rolex replica hidden in his panties before boarding a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, security experts have said.
As a result of this bombing attempt, much of the flying public will soon be asked to undergo virtual strip-searches. French officials have announced that all travelers to the United States from Paris will be subject to full-body scans by the end of January. Those who refuse will be given thorough pat-downs.
The Washington Post reports 49 full-body units are already at 19 American airports. The TSA has ordered 150 more, with funding for an additional 300. It won't be long before they're everywhere.
Rather than replica breitling undressing millions of innocent travelers, wouldn't it be more effective to have a policy that whenever a father reports that his jihadist son is planning acts of international terrorism, that potential killer should be moved from the terrorist watch list to the do-not-fly list?
And shouldn't everyone on the watch list be moved to the do-not- fly list? Isn't it time we stopped watching suspected terrorists and started grounding them?
Won't happen. Government's solution to airline security so far has been to harass the hapless masses.
So let's look on the bright side. The spread of full-body scan machines could have positive effects. It could very well lead to a global weight-loss initiative.
Anyone who's traveled can tell you Americans are not the only pudgeballs in the air. What self-respecting passenger of any nationality is going to waddle through one of those revealing machines with love handles bulging and belly fat flopping?
Think about it. If passengers know they will essentially be naked as a jaybird when they fly, they'll treat every trip as a high school reunion. An occasion for increased exercise and dieting.
embroidered patches
You've heard of the Scarsdale, South Beach and Slim-Fast diets. The Atkins, apple cider and grapefruit diets. The cabbage soup, vinegar and cookie diets.
Say hello to the Abdulmutallab Underwear Diet.
Here's how it works: Buy an airplane ticket, then starve yourself until take off.
I'm flying in a couple of weeks. Pass the celery.
Kerry Dougherty, (757) 446-2306, kerry.dougherty @cox.net
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